The kids came home from a friend's house with gum. Jessica was chewing hers but Hari had told Xander he needed to ask me if it was okay. I was reluctant to say yes but he begged so hard and since I was in the middle of packing, I was susceptible to such tactics. I told him yes, but repeated about 10 times "DO NOT SWALLOW. Do you understand?" He nodded vigorously and preceded to stuff 2 pieces of gum into his small mouth.
I went upstairs for about 10 minutes to pack some stuff up there. When I came home I noticed a distinct lack of chewing on his part.
"Where's your gum?" I asked.
He looked down and then pointed to his stomach.
"Did you swallow it?" I know, stupid question.
He shook his head solemnly.
"Then how did it get there?"
He shrugged, as if it was a complete mystery.
He is now back to no-gum status.
* * *Antonyms
Xander has picked up on Jessica's annoying habit of needing accompaniment to the bathroom.
"I have to pee," he'll say. "Come on."
Then I'll whine about how I don't want to go and can't he go by himself and eventually I'll get up and go with him because it's way better then changing diapers.
Then recently he announced he had to pee. "I need privacy," he said. For a nanosecond, my heart leaped with joy.
Then he said, "Oops, I meant company."
Privacy, company, they're almost the same, right?